How to see the big picture..step back

Victim’s fail.

It’s essentially that simple.

I am a recruiter. When I ask the job candidate why they have not succeeded in some role, if they blame their lack of
success on their manager, the changing economy, or some other in a litany of excuses then I know they’re not what

I or my client is looking for. I don’t mind if people fail, I mind it when they do not find a way to take some ownership

over their failure.

Why? People expecting external circumstances to change around them or for the stars to line up are not the types

of people that are successful. Those who believe it is within their control to be successful are the ones that wind up

being successful.

The big question therefore is, how do we rid ourselves of the victim mentality (even when we really are victims)?

The answer is simple though not simplistic…Believe that everything happens for a reason and is for the best.

I have a close friend who was slated to go to Medical School, and during the summer in between semesters, he

was struck by a car rendering him hemoplegic (paralyzed on one side). Due to the fact that he never thought he

would be able to move his upper body again, he had to forego his spot in medical school and once he recovered,

decided to pursue journalism.

This man is now an international journalist and two time Pulitzer Prize nominee who, after introspection concluded

that his whole reason for pursuing medical school and putting writing on the back burner was to follow in his father’s

footsteps.

Now, I’m not saying that if he had to do it all over again he would opt to have the accident to find his career path.

But the point was that instead of wallowing in pity, he found out how to make this life altering occurrence into a

learning moment, and decided how to turn his accident into a positive. He’s an example of a victim without a victim’s

mentality.

Such an approach could not be possible without believing that there is some good in every circumstance.

2) Quote – “sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe

3) As a parent, I know that my refusing to give my son candy before bed is better for him (though he does

not see that). To him that is something seemingly bad because he does not have perspective. I don’t want to

push religion, but believing in a Higher Being that has our best interests at heart is like a child that can have

perspective when his parent says no to something.

4) There are certainly victims out there. But we don’t have to view ourselves as a victim. What’s the difference in

perspective? The victim is DEPENDENT; the person who takes ownership is INDEPENDENT.

5) Sometimes negative things happen to help you appreciate things more. Have you ever broken an arm? It stinks.

But once you get that cast off, you appreciate your arm like never before, even though things just went back to

normal.